‘The Return of The King’  A News Flash On My Injury By Ian Baldwin

 I had a glorious Bunkies career. A record of 2 runners up & 1 cup winners’ medals in only 2 seasons is not to be sniffed at, even by one such as myself, famed for his runny nose and sinus problems.

 Tragically this career was cut horribly short one fateful summers evening last year.

 As most of you will recall, it was the last match of the 02/03 season, I can’t remember whether Div 1 or Div 2, it matters not.

 We were up against those attack minded dinosaurs, MK ED and I was striding around the pitch like a young Liam Brady. My dear wife Denise had come along to watch me play, for the first and, as it turned out, last time and I duly rewarded her by scoring with a stunning strike after a few minutes or so.

 So far so good. But then disaster struck. As I surged down the left wing an

MK ED-o-suarus lunged in clumsily, trod on my foot and forced my knee to break in several places as I crashed to the floor (well that’s what it felt like anyway).

 Having only the bare six out that night, I struggled to my feet and manfully played on for the boys, regardless of the searing pain I was suffering.

 A few minutes later however my career was finished. With neither ball nor player anywhere near me I turned to make a darting forward burst, only to be brought violently to earth by some invisible force. My knee had given up the ghost once and for all. Suppressing the urge to cry out in agony like a girl, I was helped from the pitch and delivered into the loving arms of my wife, distraught with worry on the sidelines.

 Well I think you’ll agree that that’s an accurate account of the events of that night, and as you all know I’ve been out of action ever since.  

 Well the point of this ‘newsflash’ is to let you all know that last Friday I finally got an appointment to see my local quack. Having related the above tale to him, word for word, I asked him for an opinion.

 ‘Bunkies won’t be half as good without you’, came his wise response.

 Anyway, to cut a long story short, my GP is arranging for me to have a scan and see a specialist etc etc.

 So maybe, just maybe, some time soon, you’ll be hailing ‘The Return of the King’.

 Thank you very much.