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15th Feb 2005 - BCII V's MK ED

With the usual Match Reporter away of International business, it was left to the
only other person who could be bothered to summarise another appalling Bunky's display.
BCII with one change, Sean in for Mark Rogers were up against one of their many
boggy teams MK ED.  MK ED already knocking us out of the cup this year, was this
to be payback - No!  It was a cold and frosty night and that was just between us with
no team spirit, communication or usual Bunky's flowing pass and move.  There was
no movement, no pass and move, no finding the space, no using the easy ball.  Richy A
pulling off numerous fine saves, being warned by the ref for swearing at his own defenders! 
Daz threw another handbag, must be getting expensive, subbing himself.  Rolfe came on to
put his foot in as normal with Ben also working real hard in the midfield.  The first goal, well,
MK ED scored but they were in the area, hurrah!  Ref blew up, play resumed from Richy whom threw
it to Jus who though the goal stood so tried to play the ball back to the centre.  The ball
intercepted by MK ED, rounded Neil who too was a statue, before belting the ball back
in exactly the same place.  Now that was a sporting gesture if every I've seen one.  Bunky's
pushed, tempers flared (amongst ourselves), positions were lost when BC have a free kick,
Russ catches Sean with his foot when kicking the ball resulting in the ball going
straight to an MK ED player, they run the length of the pitch before putting it in the corner. 
Bunky's again caught on the break.  MK ED did there usual defend in numbers, frustrating
Sean and the midfield, although it has to be said they didn't have to work too hard,
MK ED keeper having very little to do all night.  Sean scored his 200th Bunky's goal as a
conciliation from a free kick from Rolfe, curling shot round the wall into the bottom corner,
Sean again hitting the post late on.  We huffed and puffed till the end, but didn't
blow MK ED's little straw house down!

***** STOP PRESS   ****   ANOTHER MATCH REPORTER DISCOVERED *******

There's been some disappointing results in the past for both the Bunky's teams.... but this one has to be in the top One.
A comedy of errors, and School Boy one's at that, and we're talking under 10's here, not even the older
kids who have started getting spots! Possibly even girls.
 

The game began with the lightening pace of a concrete block in a river of solid concrete. MK ED
were true to form, that's a 5-0-0 formation, however had the Bunky's players broken into a walk,
we might have had a game on our hands. 10 minutes went by and it barely resembled a pre match warm up,
where most of the players stand about catching up about the events of the weekend... the Chocolate Malt
drinks and early nights are often boasted about at such times...
 

A couple of minutes later an MK ED player popped up from midfield, walked with the ball towards the
BC goal and banged one in the net. The ref's lightning reaction to what could have been a quite
controversial decision blew for 'keepers ball' as he had noticed an infringement in the area from the
striker. Perhaps the players momentum was more than everyone (even Newton himself) could have
imagined and inertia took him just over the yellow line. It mattered not, 'cos both the Bunky's defenders
assumed it was a goal, and as MK ED drew back into their own half, also assuming it was a goal, Richy,
who had had a front seat to the infringement rolled the ball out to Jus to play on.

 That's where the comedy began.

Not realising the ball was in play, Jus lightly passed it towards the centre expecting the re-start.
An alert (and by alert I mean under 40 years of age) MK ED player took the initiative and
strolled back towards the BC goal having received the light pass. Somewhat confusingly he dribbled
around the stationary Neil who was under the duress of much shouting from the rest of the team that
the ball was still in play, and into the back of the net it went.

0-1

But it didn't stop there. 

Russ came on for Neil just before the whistle, and his first touch was to take the free kick just a
couple of yards from the MK ED 'D'... confusion filled the air, along with Daz's voice with instructions
to 'Just f*cking kick it!". Russ's foot went back, clipped Sean's shin and then proceeded to pass the
ball about a yard to the MK ED player standing right in front of him. Nice.

 Less than 10 seconds later the ball was in the back of the Bunky's goal once more. 0-2 

Heads were not just down as the half time oranges were thrown at the players by the crowd, they
were positively under the Astroturf. The BC team were glad there was no fan base to disappoint,
and no share holders to worry about.
 

Daz was keen to motivate everyone with his customary torrent of verbal abuse as the second half
got under way. Not long after that however, he subbed himself and Rolfe took up the middle spot.
 

MK ED held onto the ball well, and an injection of pace from the Bunky's players was evident as
they chased the ball around the park. Even Russ made it to a forward position just passed
the half way line and took a shot with the outside of his foot. A high looping curling masterpiece
of a shot was crafted from nothing as the ball tucked itself nicely into the top corner... but alas the ref
decided it had gone over his little midget head and blew for a free kick.

 Bunky's pace continued in a desperate attempt to find dignity, and at last it came with Sean's 200th
goal of his Bunky's career! A smooth move and a well executed finish. 1-2

 Realising his defensive skills were not as valued as Daz's forward and goal scoring skills in the
final minutes of the match, Russ subbed himself for Daz, who had collected his toys up and was
ready for more action. It was, however, to no avail and after yet another free kick fiasco in
which Daz called for the ball from the kick, the kick was made, Sean stepped out of the way to
allow the power of Daz's freight train pace to put an 'ekiN' imprint on the boards behind the goal....
but unfortunately Daz was static, 5 yards back, evidently waiting for the fat controller to signal
him out of the station. (That's a Thomas the Tank engine analogy, and not an insult to the ref.)
 

So the Mighty Bunky Chollox finished without the flurry, earning themselves the desperately
needed 'Nil-Point'. Zip. Nadda.
 

The post match beers were good though. As were the pork scratchings.

 

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